Our infertility journey has come to a bit of a halt and so much has happened in the last few months.
{1} We have stopped the foster/adoption process.
The licensing company we were going through told us that in order to go further with the process we both would need to become Michigan residents. Now, active duty are exempt from this rule and protected by federal law that says we get to keep our home state of residency for everything. All we'd have to do is call up Coast Guard legal and fight this thing and we could win. But who wants to go through a legal battle? Not I. After much discussion, Crockett & I decided to just postpone all this until we move to the next state. We are only here for another year to year and a half and by the time we got through all the red tape we would not have very long here.
{2} We have also stopped all fertility treatments.
This one is easy to sum up: the doctors in this small, remote town are INSANE. After getting so many conflicting and confusing feedback from the OB here I decided that if I did become pregnant I did NOT want this man to deliver my baby. He is a fool. He told me I did not need to get tested while taking Clomid to see if it was working and that we could just trust it would. He told me based on my one blood test that I was in fact ovulating and he did not feel we needed to investigate that further. Then, nine months later, he tells me we should have been testing during Clomid the whole time and upon looking at the one blood test that he had already seen, he said my levels were low and perhaps I wasn't ovulating after all. He wasted 9 months of my time. He also is the one who freaked me out saying I could die if I got pregnant and then sent me to a specialist who laughed and said there wasn't a chance of that happening.
{3} I've stopped tracking ovulation.
Basically I'm done. I've handed over this whole motherhood thing to God and said, "When it happens, it happens." He doesn't need doctors, medicine, procedures, or tracking ovulation to create life. If he wants life in me, he'll make it happen. When we move (approx. Jan 2015) I'll start over with a new fertility specialist and we'll go from there, but for now I'm taking a well deserved break. I gotta say, it is so nice not to stress each cycle. I just expect to not be pregnant and my hopes are never up or crushed. There's no pressure and I'm lovin it.
{4} We are loving life in Michigan.
I know that sounds weird. But Crockett got moved into a new section at work over the summer and at first we were kinda sad because we liked the people he worked with before. [The way the schedules are set, the crew he works with is also the crew who is off when he is. Therefore, the only people he even has the option of hanging out with outside of work are the people in his section who he works with.] Well, in this new crew are 3 other married couples who we've gotten to know a lot better and had a blast with. We've gone camping, had tons of bonfires, and overall great times with them. The station also got a LOT of new people this summer and 3 of the ladies and I started a small group Bible study which has been great. I truly feel like we now have a community. :) God is so good!
Summer in Michigan was awesome. Lots of beach time, camping, & spending time outside in the non-humid, 70 degree gorgeousness.
{5} I got a job!
As of September I am a Health Educator for District Health Department #2. I love it! I teach an abstinence program to 7th graders across the district as a guest speaker during their health class for a span of 10 lessons. I'm working full time, but making enough money to get ahead of debt & go home once a month. This is the answer to prayer I was looking for.
{6} We found a church!
It's in Saginaw which is an hour and a half away, but after a complete spiritual melt down we decided it was worth it. So now every Sunday we make the drive (with some awesome friends) and enjoy some good worship, gospel teaching, & great fellowship.
Winter is well on it's way again here in north Michigan. We've already had a few flurries & the brutal cold winds are here to stay. A couple weekends ago we got all stocked up for our {hopefully} last northern winter! The Christmas tree went up on Nov. 12 & we're looking forward to Thanksgiving. Crockett has to work, but the new cook at the station is outstanding and he's preparing Thanksgiving lunch for all the families to come in and share. Then a few of us wives are headed to a friend's house to have a great time together. These women truly have become my second family. I'm so thankful & so blessed.
Showing posts with label church. Show all posts
Showing posts with label church. Show all posts
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Monday, June 17, 2013
An Unbaby Update
Sometimes I get so wrapped up in becoming a mother that I forget to talk about, brag about, or relish in the other things going on in my life so here is a non-adoption/baby update.
Living in Michigan is still not easy, but God is providing some fantastic things to remind me that He is just as present here as anywhere else and I can feel him wooing me here in this moment. The weather has started to get really beautiful and although I'm not any closer to my family than I was and my heart still aches for them constantly, I'm trying so hard to be positive and enjoy my time here. What I don't want is my time in Michigan to be over and then I look back and say, "I spent 3 years of my life just waiting to be done." How awful is that? I want to live and love and be in this moment. I'm in my mid 20's and my husband and I don't have kids. We can do things a lot of people wish they had the time or ability to do. Why not have as much fun as possible and be all that God has called me to be no matter where I am?
We're now on our 2nd church and although the preaching is still not theologically what we know to be truth 100% of the time we are making it a much higher priority to get involved and be the truth we see lacking. Instead of finding a church that fits us we are going to try to help the areas that need strengthening. Isn't that what the body of Christ is all about after all, working together to build each other up? We are moving in 2 weeks and when we get to the new place we will probably look for a local church there to get involved with.
WE'RE MOVING IN 2 WEEKS! Not anywhere far, but hey, moving is moving. We're going about 14 miles south, from Oscoda to East Tawas. Tawas is where Crockett works and it houses the WalMart and all my doctors. Some people have scoffed when I mention the WalMart factor, but yes, when you live in a town this small you do want to be close to the only store you shop at for everything.
As of now I still plan to work at Oscoda High School as a part-time secretary next year so I'll be commuting, but the house we're moving into is relatively close to the same size as our current one and will save us $2,700/year in rent! I think it's worth it. I have applied at 3 different school districts and one of them is Tawas. If I get the Tawas position (4th grade) Crockett and I both will be working 5 minutes from home so we'll be saving all that rent $$ plus gas $$! I'm super excited about this possibility as gas was $4.20 last week. I also applied at a district about an hour and a half south of here which would require us to move again should I get it. The good news is we'd move to the closest big city which means restaurants and shopping and a reformed church. The bad news is between the shopping and the restaurants and Crockett commuting 1.5 hrs one way there goes all that $$. In the wise words of the Giff, "Ya win some, ya lose some." (For the record, the 3rd district I applied at was right here in Oscoda, but due to my certification not being completely finalized they decided not to consider me. My certification would have been final one week after they were hoping to make their decision. I'm just taking this as God closing a door.)
I PASSED BOTH MY MICHIGAN CERTIFICATION TESTS!! I am now officially hirable. :) Technically I have been since November as my temporary doesn't expire until Nov 2013, butmost districts like to see that you'll be certified throughout the entire school year. So now I am. I am praying and hoping that God will lead me to a teaching job, but am also praying that I would have peace no matter where He places me. I have never wanted a job so bad in my life as I do now. I worked so hard for so long to be a teacher and I am SO ready to put all my knowledge and ideas into practice, but I need to be content in my position and seek how God wants to use me. It's a daily struggle and I need constant reminders. I am hopeful and I am trusting in His plan.
Which brings me to April. April is not her name, but to be as nice as possible I won't use her real name. April has been nothing but a thorn in my side since I met her. She has been rude, a bully, a bossy know-it-all, and hurtful and I have been trying so hard to love her. She makes my job difficult. She complains about me to my bosses about STUPID stuff and although my bosses acknowledge that it's petty and tell me not to worry, it is difficult to say the least to spend several hours with someone who makes you want to run away from them. (The most difficult part is keeping my mouth shut because I am not the only one who has a hard time working with April and it would be so easy for me to join in the gossip about her, especially when I know she falsely gossips about me.) I truly believe God has placed me with April for a reason. She is not a Christian and I know God is calling me to show her love and be Christ to her. I pray often for the strength to be nice and for the words to say. I want the Holy Spirit to use me as a tool to soften her heart. I want her to see the hope that I have in spite of her negativity and I want her to credit that to something bigger than myself. Today I was able to talk a little bit about my faith to her and another co-worker and I really hope God planted some seeds. In the middle of our conversation April had to help someone who came into the office and I took that time to pray that God would guide the words I spoke next and use them to witness to her. If nothing else, she was a little nicer to me after hearing me talk about my infertility struggle and how I view it as God's mercy for allowing me to be drawn to Him rather than Him allowing me to get everything I ever wanted and have no need for Him. :)
I started running!!! But then I had to stop... :/ For 2 weeks I ran around our neighborhood 4-5 times a week and was just starting to desire running each day and could feel it getting easier and starting to see some results in my stomach area when I injured myself. -.- Now I have gone 5 days without running and I feel gross. I miss how great I felt after a run. Dr. Hubby says I need to wait for my knee to heal completely because the first time I noticed it hurting I pushed myself and the next day made it 1,000 times worse. I cannot wait to be better and out there again. Maybe all it took was moving to Michigan where I can run in 68 degree weather with no humidity to finally be a runner. ;)
For 4 weeks I got to teach Language Arts intervention to 6 first graders after school and it was wonderful. I loved every minute of preparing lessons and teaching. It was such a refreshing thing to step out of filing and answering phones and back into my comfort zone. Teaching is home for me. It's where I feel most confident. It's where I know I've been called and I'm still so thankful God gave me that little breath of fresh air. I'm going to miss those kiddos.
One thing that has remained constant in my life is how amazing God has been to me. I have no reason to be this blessed and yet I am. I have an amazing marriage to my very best friend. We laugh, we play, we love, we dance, and we truly enjoy every minute we're together. There are seriously days that I think, "I cannot believe that I get to live with this man and do life with him at my side." He treats me like a princess. He dotes on me, surprises me, makes me laugh, encourages me, prays for me, listens to me. I could go on forever. My marriage is the biggest blessing in my life and I just can't complain about anything else because if I got nothing I wanted for the rest of my life, but get to be married to Crockett Thompson, I still win. And I still do get things I want. Every day. Too often I get lost in "whoa is me, I want a baby and a job" but I have such a full and rich life. Getting Jesus is all I need in life and yet He's given me Himself, Crockett, and so much more. I am just so overwhelmed by His goodness sometimes.
Living in Michigan is still not easy, but God is providing some fantastic things to remind me that He is just as present here as anywhere else and I can feel him wooing me here in this moment. The weather has started to get really beautiful and although I'm not any closer to my family than I was and my heart still aches for them constantly, I'm trying so hard to be positive and enjoy my time here. What I don't want is my time in Michigan to be over and then I look back and say, "I spent 3 years of my life just waiting to be done." How awful is that? I want to live and love and be in this moment. I'm in my mid 20's and my husband and I don't have kids. We can do things a lot of people wish they had the time or ability to do. Why not have as much fun as possible and be all that God has called me to be no matter where I am?
We're now on our 2nd church and although the preaching is still not theologically what we know to be truth 100% of the time we are making it a much higher priority to get involved and be the truth we see lacking. Instead of finding a church that fits us we are going to try to help the areas that need strengthening. Isn't that what the body of Christ is all about after all, working together to build each other up? We are moving in 2 weeks and when we get to the new place we will probably look for a local church there to get involved with.
WE'RE MOVING IN 2 WEEKS! Not anywhere far, but hey, moving is moving. We're going about 14 miles south, from Oscoda to East Tawas. Tawas is where Crockett works and it houses the WalMart and all my doctors. Some people have scoffed when I mention the WalMart factor, but yes, when you live in a town this small you do want to be close to the only store you shop at for everything.
As of now I still plan to work at Oscoda High School as a part-time secretary next year so I'll be commuting, but the house we're moving into is relatively close to the same size as our current one and will save us $2,700/year in rent! I think it's worth it. I have applied at 3 different school districts and one of them is Tawas. If I get the Tawas position (4th grade) Crockett and I both will be working 5 minutes from home so we'll be saving all that rent $$ plus gas $$! I'm super excited about this possibility as gas was $4.20 last week. I also applied at a district about an hour and a half south of here which would require us to move again should I get it. The good news is we'd move to the closest big city which means restaurants and shopping and a reformed church. The bad news is between the shopping and the restaurants and Crockett commuting 1.5 hrs one way there goes all that $$. In the wise words of the Giff, "Ya win some, ya lose some." (For the record, the 3rd district I applied at was right here in Oscoda, but due to my certification not being completely finalized they decided not to consider me. My certification would have been final one week after they were hoping to make their decision. I'm just taking this as God closing a door.)
I PASSED BOTH MY MICHIGAN CERTIFICATION TESTS!! I am now officially hirable. :) Technically I have been since November as my temporary doesn't expire until Nov 2013, but
Which brings me to April. April is not her name, but to be as nice as possible I won't use her real name. April has been nothing but a thorn in my side since I met her. She has been rude, a bully, a bossy know-it-all, and hurtful and I have been trying so hard to love her. She makes my job difficult. She complains about me to my bosses about STUPID stuff and although my bosses acknowledge that it's petty and tell me not to worry, it is difficult to say the least to spend several hours with someone who makes you want to run away from them. (The most difficult part is keeping my mouth shut because I am not the only one who has a hard time working with April and it would be so easy for me to join in the gossip about her, especially when I know she falsely gossips about me.) I truly believe God has placed me with April for a reason. She is not a Christian and I know God is calling me to show her love and be Christ to her. I pray often for the strength to be nice and for the words to say. I want the Holy Spirit to use me as a tool to soften her heart. I want her to see the hope that I have in spite of her negativity and I want her to credit that to something bigger than myself. Today I was able to talk a little bit about my faith to her and another co-worker and I really hope God planted some seeds. In the middle of our conversation April had to help someone who came into the office and I took that time to pray that God would guide the words I spoke next and use them to witness to her. If nothing else, she was a little nicer to me after hearing me talk about my infertility struggle and how I view it as God's mercy for allowing me to be drawn to Him rather than Him allowing me to get everything I ever wanted and have no need for Him. :)
I started running!!! But then I had to stop... :/ For 2 weeks I ran around our neighborhood 4-5 times a week and was just starting to desire running each day and could feel it getting easier and starting to see some results in my stomach area when I injured myself. -.- Now I have gone 5 days without running and I feel gross. I miss how great I felt after a run. Dr. Hubby says I need to wait for my knee to heal completely because the first time I noticed it hurting I pushed myself and the next day made it 1,000 times worse. I cannot wait to be better and out there again. Maybe all it took was moving to Michigan where I can run in 68 degree weather with no humidity to finally be a runner. ;)
For 4 weeks I got to teach Language Arts intervention to 6 first graders after school and it was wonderful. I loved every minute of preparing lessons and teaching. It was such a refreshing thing to step out of filing and answering phones and back into my comfort zone. Teaching is home for me. It's where I feel most confident. It's where I know I've been called and I'm still so thankful God gave me that little breath of fresh air. I'm going to miss those kiddos.
One thing that has remained constant in my life is how amazing God has been to me. I have no reason to be this blessed and yet I am. I have an amazing marriage to my very best friend. We laugh, we play, we love, we dance, and we truly enjoy every minute we're together. There are seriously days that I think, "I cannot believe that I get to live with this man and do life with him at my side." He treats me like a princess. He dotes on me, surprises me, makes me laugh, encourages me, prays for me, listens to me. I could go on forever. My marriage is the biggest blessing in my life and I just can't complain about anything else because if I got nothing I wanted for the rest of my life, but get to be married to Crockett Thompson, I still win. And I still do get things I want. Every day. Too often I get lost in "whoa is me, I want a baby and a job" but I have such a full and rich life. Getting Jesus is all I need in life and yet He's given me Himself, Crockett, and so much more. I am just so overwhelmed by His goodness sometimes.
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