If there is one thing that I know for sure it's that nothing is for sure. So much changes so fast. One month we are walking down one path and just a few weeks later everything is different. It's hard to keep everything straight sometimes and it's even harder to explain to others what's going on with us little ole Thompsons.
We got some news last month that confirmed some things we were already beginning to feel and fear. We found out that we are not able to have children naturally. We aren't disclosing at this time all the medical reasons behind the diagnosis, but we will be seeing a specialist in the future to discuss what medical procedures we could do to possibly conceive a baby. Right now with the knowledge we have based on years of research we are more than likely up against 2 options: IUI and IVF. (click the links to learn more if you so wish.) Both options are incredibly costly and based on our personal beliefs about when life begins we will not be doing IVF no matter the availability. That leaves just the IUI. (Unless the doctor we see has some other options we haven't heard about yet.) We haven't decided when we are going to begin seeing a specialist as sometimes these things aren't covered by insurance and the closest one to us is 3 hours away. With the amount of times we would need to go into the doctor's office a week while being treated we just aren't sure it's a possibility right now.
So now what?
We have decided here's what's next:
In 6-9 months we are moving out of Michigan. We don't know where. So when we get wherever we're going we are going to choose an adoption agency and pursue domestic infant adoption. This means we will go on a list and hopefully be chosen by a pregnant woman to became parents when she gives birth (USA only). This is incredibly costly so before we can begin we have to do some fundraising and saving. (average costs are $30,000- $45,000)
Also, we are praying about what to do in regards to pursuing getting pregnant. I feel very strongly that God is calling us to adopt and let go of becoming pregnant for now. I know God has the power to create life in me regardless of a diagnosis that says it won't happen. I trust that if and when he wants that for us he'll make it happen. I'm truly not upset by that. I just want to be a mother, however he'd have that happen. So we might start seeing a specialist when we move just to hear what options are available to us, but also we may just pursue adoption whole-heartedly and not look back. We'll see.
There is a lot going on in both of our hearts as we process this news and other unrelated issues going on. It's been a difficult last month and a half. Please pray for us, friends, that we would walk in peace as we continually surrender our desires before the feet of Jesus.
Thanks for keeping up with us and most of all praying for us. We appreciate it so!
Showing posts with label infertility. Show all posts
Showing posts with label infertility. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Sunday, November 17, 2013
The End... for now
Our infertility journey has come to a bit of a halt and so much has happened in the last few months.
{1} We have stopped the foster/adoption process.
The licensing company we were going through told us that in order to go further with the process we both would need to become Michigan residents. Now, active duty are exempt from this rule and protected by federal law that says we get to keep our home state of residency for everything. All we'd have to do is call up Coast Guard legal and fight this thing and we could win. But who wants to go through a legal battle? Not I. After much discussion, Crockett & I decided to just postpone all this until we move to the next state. We are only here for another year to year and a half and by the time we got through all the red tape we would not have very long here.
{2} We have also stopped all fertility treatments.
This one is easy to sum up: the doctors in this small, remote town are INSANE. After getting so many conflicting and confusing feedback from the OB here I decided that if I did become pregnant I did NOT want this man to deliver my baby. He is a fool. He told me I did not need to get tested while taking Clomid to see if it was working and that we could just trust it would. He told me based on my one blood test that I was in fact ovulating and he did not feel we needed to investigate that further. Then, nine months later, he tells me we should have been testing during Clomid the whole time and upon looking at the one blood test that he had already seen, he said my levels were low and perhaps I wasn't ovulating after all. He wasted 9 months of my time. He also is the one who freaked me out saying I could die if I got pregnant and then sent me to a specialist who laughed and said there wasn't a chance of that happening.
{3} I've stopped tracking ovulation.
Basically I'm done. I've handed over this whole motherhood thing to God and said, "When it happens, it happens." He doesn't need doctors, medicine, procedures, or tracking ovulation to create life. If he wants life in me, he'll make it happen. When we move (approx. Jan 2015) I'll start over with a new fertility specialist and we'll go from there, but for now I'm taking a well deserved break. I gotta say, it is so nice not to stress each cycle. I just expect to not be pregnant and my hopes are never up or crushed. There's no pressure and I'm lovin it.
{4} We are loving life in Michigan.
I know that sounds weird. But Crockett got moved into a new section at work over the summer and at first we were kinda sad because we liked the people he worked with before. [The way the schedules are set, the crew he works with is also the crew who is off when he is. Therefore, the only people he even has the option of hanging out with outside of work are the people in his section who he works with.] Well, in this new crew are 3 other married couples who we've gotten to know a lot better and had a blast with. We've gone camping, had tons of bonfires, and overall great times with them. The station also got a LOT of new people this summer and 3 of the ladies and I started a small group Bible study which has been great. I truly feel like we now have a community. :) God is so good!
Summer in Michigan was awesome. Lots of beach time, camping, & spending time outside in the non-humid, 70 degree gorgeousness.
{5} I got a job!
As of September I am a Health Educator for District Health Department #2. I love it! I teach an abstinence program to 7th graders across the district as a guest speaker during their health class for a span of 10 lessons. I'm working full time, but making enough money to get ahead of debt & go home once a month. This is the answer to prayer I was looking for.
{6} We found a church!
It's in Saginaw which is an hour and a half away, but after a complete spiritual melt down we decided it was worth it. So now every Sunday we make the drive (with some awesome friends) and enjoy some good worship, gospel teaching, & great fellowship.
Winter is well on it's way again here in north Michigan. We've already had a few flurries & the brutal cold winds are here to stay. A couple weekends ago we got all stocked up for our {hopefully} last northern winter! The Christmas tree went up on Nov. 12 & we're looking forward to Thanksgiving. Crockett has to work, but the new cook at the station is outstanding and he's preparing Thanksgiving lunch for all the families to come in and share. Then a few of us wives are headed to a friend's house to have a great time together. These women truly have become my second family. I'm so thankful & so blessed.
{1} We have stopped the foster/adoption process.
The licensing company we were going through told us that in order to go further with the process we both would need to become Michigan residents. Now, active duty are exempt from this rule and protected by federal law that says we get to keep our home state of residency for everything. All we'd have to do is call up Coast Guard legal and fight this thing and we could win. But who wants to go through a legal battle? Not I. After much discussion, Crockett & I decided to just postpone all this until we move to the next state. We are only here for another year to year and a half and by the time we got through all the red tape we would not have very long here.
{2} We have also stopped all fertility treatments.
This one is easy to sum up: the doctors in this small, remote town are INSANE. After getting so many conflicting and confusing feedback from the OB here I decided that if I did become pregnant I did NOT want this man to deliver my baby. He is a fool. He told me I did not need to get tested while taking Clomid to see if it was working and that we could just trust it would. He told me based on my one blood test that I was in fact ovulating and he did not feel we needed to investigate that further. Then, nine months later, he tells me we should have been testing during Clomid the whole time and upon looking at the one blood test that he had already seen, he said my levels were low and perhaps I wasn't ovulating after all. He wasted 9 months of my time. He also is the one who freaked me out saying I could die if I got pregnant and then sent me to a specialist who laughed and said there wasn't a chance of that happening.
{3} I've stopped tracking ovulation.
Basically I'm done. I've handed over this whole motherhood thing to God and said, "When it happens, it happens." He doesn't need doctors, medicine, procedures, or tracking ovulation to create life. If he wants life in me, he'll make it happen. When we move (approx. Jan 2015) I'll start over with a new fertility specialist and we'll go from there, but for now I'm taking a well deserved break. I gotta say, it is so nice not to stress each cycle. I just expect to not be pregnant and my hopes are never up or crushed. There's no pressure and I'm lovin it.
{4} We are loving life in Michigan.
I know that sounds weird. But Crockett got moved into a new section at work over the summer and at first we were kinda sad because we liked the people he worked with before. [The way the schedules are set, the crew he works with is also the crew who is off when he is. Therefore, the only people he even has the option of hanging out with outside of work are the people in his section who he works with.] Well, in this new crew are 3 other married couples who we've gotten to know a lot better and had a blast with. We've gone camping, had tons of bonfires, and overall great times with them. The station also got a LOT of new people this summer and 3 of the ladies and I started a small group Bible study which has been great. I truly feel like we now have a community. :) God is so good!
Summer in Michigan was awesome. Lots of beach time, camping, & spending time outside in the non-humid, 70 degree gorgeousness.
{5} I got a job!
As of September I am a Health Educator for District Health Department #2. I love it! I teach an abstinence program to 7th graders across the district as a guest speaker during their health class for a span of 10 lessons. I'm working full time, but making enough money to get ahead of debt & go home once a month. This is the answer to prayer I was looking for.
{6} We found a church!
It's in Saginaw which is an hour and a half away, but after a complete spiritual melt down we decided it was worth it. So now every Sunday we make the drive (with some awesome friends) and enjoy some good worship, gospel teaching, & great fellowship.
Winter is well on it's way again here in north Michigan. We've already had a few flurries & the brutal cold winds are here to stay. A couple weekends ago we got all stocked up for our {hopefully} last northern winter! The Christmas tree went up on Nov. 12 & we're looking forward to Thanksgiving. Crockett has to work, but the new cook at the station is outstanding and he's preparing Thanksgiving lunch for all the families to come in and share. Then a few of us wives are headed to a friend's house to have a great time together. These women truly have become my second family. I'm so thankful & so blessed.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
The saddest thing they've told me yet
Well 2 weeks ago I had an OB appointment with the 3rd doctor. His bedside manner is not my favorite, but beggars can't be choosers and living in the middle of nowhere makes you a beggar when it comes to choices in doctors.
At first we were discussing what the next step in our fertility treatments would be when he noticed my blood disorders in my chart. His entire demeanor changed and he told me bluntly that what I have is very dangerous and I am at a high risk of developing a blood clot, and if I were to become pregnant I would be at a very significant risk of developing a fatal pulmonary embolism (blood clot in the lungs.) He said I needed to immediately stop trying to become pregnant and needed to see a hematologist right away to discuss my risks. His words were, "It may not be safe for you to ever become pregnant."
Well that was not a fun day. I told Crockett, my mom, & my sister, but decided not to tell anyone else anything until I met with the hematologist and knew for sure what I was facing. I was scared, but desperately seeking God's peace. I'm not afraid to die, but the idea of not being able to have a child myself made me sad. Not for myself, but for my husband. I'm ok with the idea of never having our own children. I just want to love a child and raise him or her to love Jesus. I don't care if that child genetically belongs to me or not, but I know how bad my husband wants a son and I desperately want to give him that.
I talked to my sister about surrogacy and she said she'd do it for us if we needed. Not that we can even remotely afford it right now, but I have to admit knowing I have that option one day is really nice.
Well 2 VERY long weeks later I finally saw the hematologist. I won't say he wasn't the sweetest old man ever, but he cursed multiple times in our appointment and the first thing he said was, "I just want to know why the hell you were even tested for this." o.O I have 2 mutations, Factor 5 Liden & MTHFR. He basically said that MTHFR is pointless to even know about because it means nothing. He also said that the Factor 5 increases my risk for a blood clot from .3% chance per year to .9- 1.2% chance per year which is not enough to treat or even be concerned about. Every woman's risk for clotting increases when they become pregnant and mine would also increase, but slightly higher, yet still not significantly enough to worry about. He said the only thing I need to do is common sense practice to avoid clotting like not cross my legs when sitting, stop every hour or so on road trips to stretch my legs, stay active (o goody), etc. He said he would in no way suggest I shouldn't have children and was very nonchalant about it all.
I've decided that this is good news, but considering that my cousin and sister's doctors warned them about other things that my doctor did not, I've decided to get a second opinion. We're still going to keep trying because I really do believe that my risk isn't bad enough to avoid pregnancy, but I also am going to heed the warnings my cousin's doctor gave her while trying to conceive until I can get a second opinion.
So that's that. I'm not going to blame Michigan doctors, but I've had more conflicting doctor's reports in the last 8 months here than I've had in my whole life. It stinks, but what can I do? So we're still trying for a baby and also moving forward with our licensing for foster/adoption (until next time when they tell us something else shocking and probably not true.)
In other news, after 25 years I met a candy bar I could not finish. Yes, it's true. I bought a Milky Way Simply Caramel and it was so rich I had to save half of it for later. :O
At first we were discussing what the next step in our fertility treatments would be when he noticed my blood disorders in my chart. His entire demeanor changed and he told me bluntly that what I have is very dangerous and I am at a high risk of developing a blood clot, and if I were to become pregnant I would be at a very significant risk of developing a fatal pulmonary embolism (blood clot in the lungs.) He said I needed to immediately stop trying to become pregnant and needed to see a hematologist right away to discuss my risks. His words were, "It may not be safe for you to ever become pregnant."
Well that was not a fun day. I told Crockett, my mom, & my sister, but decided not to tell anyone else anything until I met with the hematologist and knew for sure what I was facing. I was scared, but desperately seeking God's peace. I'm not afraid to die, but the idea of not being able to have a child myself made me sad. Not for myself, but for my husband. I'm ok with the idea of never having our own children. I just want to love a child and raise him or her to love Jesus. I don't care if that child genetically belongs to me or not, but I know how bad my husband wants a son and I desperately want to give him that.
I talked to my sister about surrogacy and she said she'd do it for us if we needed. Not that we can even remotely afford it right now, but I have to admit knowing I have that option one day is really nice.
Well 2 VERY long weeks later I finally saw the hematologist. I won't say he wasn't the sweetest old man ever, but he cursed multiple times in our appointment and the first thing he said was, "I just want to know why the hell you were even tested for this." o.O I have 2 mutations, Factor 5 Liden & MTHFR. He basically said that MTHFR is pointless to even know about because it means nothing. He also said that the Factor 5 increases my risk for a blood clot from .3% chance per year to .9- 1.2% chance per year which is not enough to treat or even be concerned about. Every woman's risk for clotting increases when they become pregnant and mine would also increase, but slightly higher, yet still not significantly enough to worry about. He said the only thing I need to do is common sense practice to avoid clotting like not cross my legs when sitting, stop every hour or so on road trips to stretch my legs, stay active (o goody), etc. He said he would in no way suggest I shouldn't have children and was very nonchalant about it all.
I've decided that this is good news, but considering that my cousin and sister's doctors warned them about other things that my doctor did not, I've decided to get a second opinion. We're still going to keep trying because I really do believe that my risk isn't bad enough to avoid pregnancy, but I also am going to heed the warnings my cousin's doctor gave her while trying to conceive until I can get a second opinion.
So that's that. I'm not going to blame Michigan doctors, but I've had more conflicting doctor's reports in the last 8 months here than I've had in my whole life. It stinks, but what can I do? So we're still trying for a baby and also moving forward with our licensing for foster/adoption (until next time when they tell us something else shocking and probably not true.)
In other news, after 25 years I met a candy bar I could not finish. Yes, it's true. I bought a Milky Way Simply Caramel and it was so rich I had to save half of it for later. :O
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