A Side Journey

I think it's time for an update on the Thompsons. I'm gunna share a bit about our infertility struggles and if you think that's too personal you can read my reasons for sharing at the bottom.*

Hubs and I have been trying to start our family for over a year and now that we have settled into a place we're going to be for a bit I've started seeing a doctor to begin figuring out what is going on. One of the things my doctor ordered was an ultrasound to determine if anything was out of the ordinary. 

Tonight I went to the hospital (where my ultrasound was scheduled to be) and began to have my procedure. I knew something was odd when the tech left in the middle of the ultrasound and said, "I'll be back. I want to check your chart." She was gone for about 15 minutes. When she came back she went on with the ultrasound and when she was done told me to sit tight while she checked with the doctor to make sure she got all the pictures he needed before I left. I sat with my things waiting to leave for about 20-30 minutes. When she finally came back she said, "Go ahead and grab your things. Come with me we're going to go over to the the ER." 

I was startled and when I asked why she said she couldn't tell me. She walked me across the hall and when I asked her if I needed to call my husband she said I could if I wanted him to be there. Thank goodness Crockett was able to come! He was there in minutes because the station isn't too far from the hospital. After we got into the ER the ultrasound tech told me to have a seat on the nearest bed. She then walked to the nurses station where I watched her say something to the group of women and then they all looked at me and began talking. The tech then left the ER and on her way out said to me, "Have a good night." I was stunned.

A few minutes (which felt like an eternity) went by and a nurse came over to me. She asked me why I was in the ER today. I could only tell her I had no idea. She asked me where my pain was and she looked dumbfounded when I told her I wasn't in any. At this point I was incredibly anxious. My hands were shaking. My heart was racing. I had no idea what to expect, and all I knew was that I hate pain. The nurse took my vitals and had me change into a gown. Crockett got there around this time and was able to hold my hand while the nurse got the IV in my arm. 

Finally the doctor came in and told us that the ultrasound tech had seen what she believed to be an ectopic pregnancy on the ultrasound. My heart sank. But then my brain caught up and the timing just didn't make sense. If I was pregnant I was only 5 days pregnant and the tech had told me that it would be way too early to see a pregnancy that early. The doctor told us that a tubal pregnancy would need surgery and that he'd run a blood test and get back to us. So for close to an hour we waited and all the while I was trying not to grieve the loss of the baby that may or may not exist. It was an incredibly complicated thing. It was hard to convince myself not to be sad about something we don't know for sure when it was such a sad and devastating thing. 

The doctor came back in eventually and told us that my blood test came back negative for pregnancy. So whatever is in my tube, it isn't a baby. Praise Jesus! I am so thankful that I serve the God of the universe who knows all things and is in all things. He's already in the future knitting together my children. He already knows how all this will play out and I'm so thankful for that. I praise him for keeping me safe and I trust him with the unknown. 

Now we wait to meet with my doctor to find out what is going on and how we can fix it. Hopefully this is just one step closer to finally getting our baby. :)

*I've decided to share my stories about struggling to get pregnant because I believe God works through everything. "And they have conquered him (Satan) by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony..." Rev 12:11 I know that God will use my story as a greater part of His story and I am honored to be used. Also, I am willing to publicly share my struggle because I'm excited to publicly share my praise and give Him glory when our little baby finally arrives.