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Thursday, October 29, 2015

Expecting a Miracle

About a year ago Crockett and I were told that we would not conceive a child on our own and that we would need to go through a medical procedure that had a 75% chance of working in order to get pregnant. We took home that information and let it sink in, but then really dismissed a lot of the thought process over it as Andi was born a couple months later and life quickly filled up with her in our family. Everything shifted the day she was born. Every longing we had to become parents was instantly fulfilled. Our missing piece was found and we felt an immediate contentment. Ten months later we were just as content and had agreed not to even discuss the potential second adoption until Andi was 2 or 3. Then October 16, 2015 happened...

I was late. It wasn't uncommon or even something that would make me blink an eye except that I had been pretty consistent for the last 5-6 months. I was about 12 days late and had absolutely no other reason to believe I was pregnant, but when I woke up I had a strange idea to take a pregnancy test. I grabbed one of the old tests I had bought in bulk back when we were trying several years ago. It immediately showed positive. I studied the test and the directions as if I must have done something wrong. This wasn't right.

I ran downstairs to the second bathroom where Crockett was showering, barreled into the room saying, "Crockett!! Look at this!!" He popped his head out of the shower and looked at the test. He asked me what it meant and I told him it was positive. He laughed and closed the shower curtain. In a state of total shock and abandonment I ran back upstairs and took a picture of the test, texted it to my sister, and immediately called her. I had woken her up and demanded that she interpret the picture I'd just texted. Silence. Then, "Becca, are you pregnant?!?" I said, "Apparently! Except it can't be right!" She looked at the picture and noticed the test had expired over a year ago. She instructed me to get a new test right away. I sent Crockett to the store. He still thought I was somehow joking and was sure the test was expired and broken. He came home with 3 tests. I immediately took one and it was SO positive RIGHT AWAY! I just stared at it in shock. I showed him and he didn't think I'd done it right. We were both highly confused and in severe disbelief.

We both went to work and scheduled a blood test to be drawn in the afternoon. It was the strangest day ever and I was so distracted. I can tell you that my kids learned about 90% less than normal. Finally, we met at the doctor's office and they took my blood. On the way out I asked to take one of the nurse's urine tests. She laughingly obliged and it too came back positive right away. I just stared at it and said, "I see lines. Do you see lines?" She laughed at me again and said, "It looks pretty positive, Hun." Another nurse walked by and patted me on the back saying, "I'd say your pregnant."

I sorta accepted it. It was sinking in. Crockett still wanted blood results. The next morning I took another home test and it was unsurprisingly positive. Monday after school I got the call from the doctor's office saying the blood results confirmed I am indeed knocked up.

Over the last 2 weeks we've accepted that this is in fact true, but it is still quite surreal. Thankfully, I've had virtually no symptoms. No morning sickness, food aversions, smell aversions, or nausea. Yet. I wake up every day thanking God for another painless pregnancy day. This has made going to work SO MUCH easier than I expected. My biggest symptom has been pure exhaustion. I'm sleeping 9-11 hours most nights and still barely getting out of bed on time. Every morning I feel like I only got 5 hours of sleep. I'm excited for the second trimester energy I hear about, but we've got a ways to go for that.

According to calculations I'm 7 weeks, 5 days pregnant today and my estimated due date is June 12, but we have an ultrasound next Monday that will hopefully give us a more accurate update.

We know that this baby is a gift from the Creator of life and that God truly has made himself known through this. This wasn't us. We are broken. This is God. This is his miraculous and mighty hand. His plan all along has been perfectly unfolding. He knew we were going to get Andi. He knew she was meant to be the big sister and that this baby was coming. He has always known and always provided and I am so humbled by it all. That is my saving grace right now, that God ordained this. That he is using me in a big way in a part of his obviously special plan. Both of my children were divinely and miraculously placed in my hands and I LOVE telling that story.

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