Saturday, September 11, 2010
I hate secrets. They hurt people. Always. No matter what. And right now I'm having to keep a lot of them. From my family, my friends, my husband, my sister, & even my mom. I HATE this. For one I do not like being told what to do in a non work/school situation. So I'm having a really hard time with people telling me, "Here's what you're gunna do. We don't care that you don't want to do it. Here's where you're going to be and what you're going to look like. And on top of all this, don't tell anyone what we've told you." I'm having an especially hard time balancing this with my husband. Just 4 weeks ago I vowed to become one with him. How can one being not share the same knowledge? How can one being hide secrets from itself? I'm so incredibly confused and really emotionally overwhelmed. My sister and my mom are my best friends and it's going to be impossible not sharing details of my life with them. I want to live my life the way I want. I want to be able to share my stories with my friends. I'm really unsure about what I should do at this point and I'm not even sure I have a choice anymore. I don't feel like I can be myself. I don't feel like I can trust people. I hate this feeling. :( I wanna go back to Disney World.
at 2:15 PM