PREFACE: In no way do I claim to be an expert in marriage. I hold one bachelor's degree in education and I have only been in one marriage to one man. I know your situation is different from my mine. I have only been married for two and a half years, but these are things I have learned in that short time. Some of these lessons I learned the hard way, others I have been fortunate enough to learn through teachers, preachers, mentors, & God's word. The evidence I have of the success of these methods is a wonderful, fun, loving, & exciting marriage. I am more in love now than I ever have been. To God be the glory.
1. Pray instead of nag. Every husband (& wife for that matter) has areas that need some improving. Whatever your husband's is instead of constantly complaining about it to him pray that God would work in his heart and stir up a desire to seek Him about it. Make sure to compliment any progress you notice. :)
2. Make an effort to do things he likes. I struggle with this one, but I definitely try. Is your husband super outdoorsy and you're not? Does he prefer to play games where you like to sit and talk? Does he like to go out and you enjoy staying in? Every once in a while step outside your comfort zone just to make sure he knows you love him and are willing to sacrifice your desires so that he can enjoy himself. Take the lead and plan fun dates he'll enjoy.
3. Praise him! "Encouragement in the mouth of a woman is like fire in the soul of a man."- Matt Chandler Nothing validates a man like the praise of his wife. Compliment your man on everything from his appearance to his leadership. Notice him working extra hard at work? Tell him! See him go out of his way to be a good friend/dad/brother/etc? Tell him! This can make a world of difference in your marriage.
4. Let him lead you. I know we like to think of ourselves as the real boss, but ladies let me just tell you: We're not. We weren't designed to be. And yes it does suck. In fact, one of the consequences of the fall of mankind was that we would struggle against our husbands' leadership and we would desire to be in charge. (Genesis 3:16) I used to think this meant I only had to let my husband make the big decisions, but this isn't true. He is the head of our house in all areas. When your husband knows you trust his leadership you'll be surprised to see how often he shares his control with you and listens to your opinions.
5. Spice it up! Men and women typically have very different sex drives and more often than not many marriages take a sad turn in this department. Sex is not a chore. It can be very fun and exciting (even on a regular basis.) When you're not in the mood make an effort to get in the mood. If your man is not satisfied at home think about how much harder it will be for him to resist temptation. Not that there is any excuse for infidelity, but I'm just saying... Men have needs. Don't take for granted that he wants you to be the one to satisfy those needs. Check out this website for amazing date ideas and super fun ways to spice up your marriage.---> The Dating Divas
6. Apologize. This one is so simple, yet can be so difficult. We're women. We go off the deep end sometimes, and our men should expect that, but that doesn't mean we don't need to apologize. No matter what time of the month it is when you are wrong or you handle a situation wrong, tell him. Admit your error and ask for forgiveness. Work out a plan to avoid it next time and ask God to help you grow in that area.
7. Check in. Make a point to ask your hubby how you're doing. Ask him if there is something you can pray for him about. Ask if there is anything you can do to ease his stress or help him. Ask him where he'd like to see you improve as a wife and ask him to commit to praying with you over that specific area. Then do it. Make a real effort to meet his needs. If he asks you to work on something you think is just fine the way it is stop and think. Pray about it. And do whatever you can to become better in that area. No one is perfect and we can all do better.
8. Keep Christ center. "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:12 If you are seeking God in all you do and your husband is seeking God in all he does you will be fine. That's not to say it won't be difficult or that you'll never wish you weren't married. Because those days will be plenty. But if you seek God's will for your marriage then you will get through it. The worst days will pass into the best days. Christ's plan for marriage is that it would mirror the relationship between himself and his bride, the church. Christ never gives up on his church and his church does not walk away from him when things are rough. The bride clings to Christ at all times, in all circumstances, and Christ died to save his church. What a beautiful picture marriage is to reflect.