Monday, September 22, 2008
so i feel like im a big mess right now. everywher i turn around i have something to fix or organize or prepare or read. i have books that need to be read coming out the wazoo! i feel so incredibly disorganized and i'm a super organized person. by 5 o'clock my classroom looks like a disaster. by bed time my room looks like a pig pen. and by 6 am i am fighting everything in me to not just hit 'off' and roll over. im exhausted. im stressed. im starting to feel like areas of my life are lacking... like my teaching. i totally forgot to do a worksheet today. and i have no idea when i'm going to make it up. i'm already a week behind because of ike. my kids don't listen and after 3 i don't speak calmly on eye level and put in time out. i raise my voice and tell kids to "dry it up". i'm tired of them not listening to me and when a parent comes in the room and i am distracted by telling them how johnny try to kill suzie, the rest of the class starts literally running around the room and throwing cars! what on earth?? they push every chance they get. constantly trying to get away with something. andrew looks at me like i am speaking a foreign language and joseph sings when he's in time out, completely unphased. celina is terror in the form of a 4 year old and i have to just walk out the room so i don't slap her. luke is precious and smart yet tries sooo hard to get away with everything. maybe i'm not cut out for this. i'm not nearly as patient as i thought i was and even though i pray everyday for it, it's not coming...
at 6:57 PM