me & Uncle Jimmy, 2010
Today I woke up early unable to sleep in. My heart is heavy and my stomach is already starting to feel uneasy. In a few hours I will head to the funeral of Jim Levy and I felt like more needed to be said about him and why I'm going to miss him so much.
Jim was my great uncle and also my godfather. He was my dad's uncle and one of my favorite things about him was how often he told me stories about my dad. It was absolutely one of my favorite things to look forward to when the family gathered. I'm going to miss those stories. I'm also going to miss his hugs. And the way he smiled. It never really felt like I was home for the holidays until I hugged Uncle Jimmy. I would go a while without seeing him, but he always stayed up to date on what was happening in my life. But by far one of the best things about my uncle Jimmy was how much he loved my mom. He never denied the opportunity to tell me how fond he was of my mom. I can't really tell you why that was such a good thing for my heart other than I guess it gave me hope. After all these years with my dad being gone, my mom has always stayed very involved in his family and I used to think it was just for us girls, but I realize now what my uncle was doing was reassuring me that my mom has always had a place in this family. She is a Johnston through and through. He was the most dedicated son I have ever had the extreme pleasure of knowing and he was a great father, husband, and brother. What I learned most from my uncle was how to love. His love was unending. For everyone. And that gives me hope beyond measure. Today will be a difficult day and as I was preparing my heart to get ready for it I came across this picture on my FB feed. How incredibly appropriate for this moment. God is good.